Once I saw everything I needed was here, that was the rubber stamp. I knew I was making the right decision. Operation Hanoi commenced.  When I got back to the UK, I signed up for twice-weekly Vietnamese lessons on Preply.  I believe if you’re going to live in someone else’s country, it’s only right you at least try to learn the language.

On Preply you select the language you want to learn and a long list of tutors appear. You scroll through, ask questions if you wish, until you find one that you think will suit you. I choose Huong who lives in Hanoi and she teaches Northern Vietnamese. The lessons are about £7 for a 50 minute session online. You can schedule lessons in advanced for dates and times that are appropriate for you then you receive an email reminder the day before to the online class.  The classes are all planned well with natural progression and different relatable situations ie intoductions, counting, ordering food and drink, asking directions, transport etc . But lessons are flexible and they go at the pace that best suits you. Huong is more than happy to stay on one subject if I'm struggling. 

It’s Harder Than Expected

Well over a year later, I’m still taking two lessons a week.  If I’m honest, it’s a lot harder than I imagined. I spoke to another English chap who’s been here eight years — he said he’s still struggling. On the other hand, I’ve met foreigners who have no intention whatsoever of learning Vietnamese, which I can't understand why.  Personally, I couldn’t do that. I didn’t move to Hanoi to sit in an expat bubble.

My vocabulary is growing steadily. The challenge isn’t remembering individual words — it’s putting them together naturally and getting the tones right.

The Pronoun Puzzle

One of the first surprises was pronouns. Vietnamese doesn’t just use “you”. It depends on who you’re speaking to:

• Anh – older man

• Chị – older woman

• Em – someone younger

And here’s the clever bit — how you address someone determines what you call yourself.  It’s polite. It’s logical. It’s also confusing when you’re starting out.

Six Tones… Six Ways to Get It Wrong

Vietnamese has six tones. That means one word can have completely different meanings depending on how you say it. Take this as just one example:

• ma – ghost

• má – mother

• mà – but

• mả – tomb

• mã – code

• mạ – rice seedling

So I might remember the word, build a sentence, feel quite pleased with myself… and then completely change the meaning because I used the wrong tone.  That’s the humbling part.

Small Wins (and Ego Bruises)

I try to practise speaking every day. I can now order food and drinks in local shops.  That sounds straightforward — but then they reply at full speed in Vietnamese. I probably understand about five percent of what comes back at me. Luckily, I do know how to say:  “Anh không hiểu.”  (I don’t understand.)

Like anything, there are good days and not-so-good days.  A couple of months ago I was in the local park when two young Vietnamese sisters — maybe eight and ten years old — came over to practise their English, it happens alot at weekend here. For ten minutes I was bombarded with questions:

“What’s your name?”

“How old are you?”

“What’s your favourite colour?”

They were very good.  When they finished, I told them I was learning tiếng Việt. I greeted them and asked a couple of questions in Vietnamese. The younger one smiled and said,   “You need to practise more.”  Like a dagger to the heart.

But just last week, in a street food shop, I ordered my meal, drink, asked for the bill and paid — all in Vietnamese. The staff member asked how long I’d been in Vietnam because my Vietnamese was good.  That was a welcome boost to the slightly battered ego.

Am I Where I Want to Be?

If I’m honest, I’m a little disappointed with my progress. After a year, I’d hoped to be further along. But I’m determined to keep going. It’s become a personal challenge.  It’s tiny steps. I focus on the positives — especially when someone says my tiếng Việt is good. I’m even considering enrolling in a local language school for a term or two to push myself further.

Should You Learn Vietnamese?

The truth is, you can live in Hanoi without speaking much Vietnamese. Many younger people speak some English.  But even basic phrases make daily life smoother — and locals genuinely appreciate the effort. A simple “cảm ơn” (thank you) goes a long way.  More importantly, learning the language changes how you experience the country. You notice more. You connect more. You feel less like a visitor.  I didn’t move to Hanoi just to retire comfortably. I came to experience Vietnam properly. Learning the language — however slowly — is part of that journey.  It’s frustrating. Humbling. Occasionally embarrassing.  But absolutely worth it.